The Stages of Grief
by LightningEvee
Summary: Martin's death affects everyone, you, me, Jax, and even Ray. How does Ray deal with it? With Zari at his side. Rated T for language and adult themes. (Serious salt that Ava and Lindsay C, the nurse from season 1 Sara was hitting on, are characters for your story on and Zari isn't.)
1. Denial

_Hello Fluff loving people of the internet. I hope you are having a lovely spring. This is a new series planned to be a six-parter. Don't you worry, I'm writing another chapter for my oldest fic as we speak. Anyway, nothing here is mine, I love you DC, please don't sue me._

Ray sat in the mess hall of the Waverider. A greasy pile of french fries sat in front of him in a plastic bin, the type that would be from a Five Guys or a Wendy's. He slowly shoved one at a time into his mouth without much chewing. His mind was on other things. He watched Martin get shot. And somehow Martin still pushed on to save them. Thankfully Professor Stein was still breathing and Gideon is a miracle worker, she's healed legends from worse. Any minute now Jax would walk out of the med bay supporting Stein on his arm. Martin would make a quip like "What's the difference between my father and me? … The Nazi's didn't kill me." and he would be put in bed-rest on Gideon's orders and in a few days the whole group would be out and about galavanting through the time stream and stopping Mallus with both halves of Firestorm alive and well. (Ok, two thirds of Firestorm, sorry Ronnie)

Out of the corner of his eye Ray saw the team's newest member, Zari Tomaz, enter the mess hall. He expected her to go and grab a burger from the fridge and nuke it, but she didn't do that at all. She walked towards him. "Hi Ray." She said quietly, no usual sarcasm or wit in her voice, just care and a hint of sadness.

"Hey. Want a fry?" He asked grabbing one of his greasy potato sticks, holding it out for his new friend to take.

"Um… no thanks." Ray shrugged.

"Your loss." He popped the cold fry into his mouth chewing softly. Silence ensued as the two just kind of looked at each other. Zari's eyes showed hurt, something that usually isn't there, but Ray didn't press her on it, Martin's injury was rough on all of the legends, even the new ones. After a few uncomfortable minutes, Zari Finally broke the silence.

"So… I don't… I don't know how to put this Ray…"

"Take your time, I'm not going anywhere." Raymond said with a reassuring smile. It was really sad how oblivious he was to what was about to happen. Zari shut her eyes for a bit and then looked down at the floor. She didn't want to look at Ray when she said what she had to.

"I'm just gonna come out and say it: Martin died Ray, I'm sorry." After a beat Zari looked up, Ray's smile didn't change from a moment ago. "Did you hear me? Do you want water or something?"

"Zari, that's not a funny joke. It would be cruel if I wasn't sure Gideon couldn't heal a gunshot wound or two. Plus, his connection to Jax is also a safeguard." Zari pursed her lips together and pressed on them with her teeth.

"I'm not trying to be cruel… he really is dead Ray. I know it's hard to hear, but it's true."

"But Jax…"

"Martin drank Cisco's drug. They split up Firestorm so Jax could live." Ray dropped a fry from his hand onto the floor. His mouth was agape, his eyes no longer shimmering. Abruptly Ray stood up and took off running. "Ray!" In her mind, Zari knew that there was a possibility that Ray wanted to be alone, but she couldn't let him be by himself at such a dark time. She had to be sure Ray didn't do something he would regret, if he did, Zari would never be able to forgive herself for leaving him by himself.

When Zari finally caught up with Ray, he was in the med bay. The room was clean smelling, like a doctor's office. Martin's cold grey body was being held by Jax, who was silently the sight, Ray dropped to his knees. A short breath escaped him as he fell. "No." HE said. "No, no, no, it can't be. No." he repeated over and over again. Soon a few sobs left his lips with his . Zari dropped down to him and put her arm around him. She rubbed his back as he turned into her, letting his head rest on her shoulder, his tears wetting her neck. "I know, Ray." she said softly to him. "I know. Let's get you away from this." Wrapping her arm around him she stood pulling him up. While he still had his face buried in her, she led him to his room and sat him on his bed. A few minutes passed of Ray crying into Zari in soft quiet breaths. Ray pulled away from her and grabbed a picture of him and Martin in the Wild West. Tears fell onto the glass. He pulled Zari back into an embrace, the picture trapped between them. Zari ran her hand up and down Ray's back, trying to calm him like she saw his mother do when they visited young Ray. Soon his crying stopped and Zari pulled back leaving Ray looking down at the floor.

"Do you want me to leave?" She asked. Not looking up or making a sound, Ray shook his head. Zari put her hand over his, "I won't. Grief is a long process with many steps, I won't leave you for any of them." Ray leaned against her and cried some more. As the hours went on, Ray's eyes dried up from the tears and he was just crying in dry sobs. By 11:00 Zari felt his head get heavier against his shoulder. "Ray?" She asked softly. She got no response. Zari slowly pushed him off of her and laid him out on his bed. She pulled the neatly rolled quilt up from the foot of his bed and covered him with it. "Goodnight Ray. I'm sorry that this happened."

Zari walked out of Ray's room and wandered the hallways. She got herself a glass of water and sat in a chair watching the timestream pass by and allowing her attention to be engulfed by the greenish-blue hues out of the window. She heard behind her Nate and Amaya, comforting each other with promises of love and never leaving each other. 'What a load of crap' Zari thought… then again, that was a little sweet, just not her style. Once the glass was drained Zari walked to her room. She grabbed a pillow and blanket from her room and brought it out back to the bridge. She sat back in her chair and curled up, trying to fall asleep, but her mind kept wandering back to Ray, she couldn't bear the thought of leaving him alone at this time. Sighing she stood back up for a final time and walked towards Ray's room. She tossed her pillow on Ray's floor silently shutting the door behind her. She lay herself down and stretched herself out for sleep, letting herself drift off to Ray's steady deep breathing.

 _Well, I hope you all enjoyed it. As always, flames are allowed. Love ya!_


	2. Anger

_Hello fluff loving people of the internet. Here is another chapter, man am I in the writing mood this weekend. Hope you enjoy. Also, shout out to FictionWriter91. Thank you so much._

After everyone slept on the news and the tragic events that unfolded hours before, the legends directed the Waverider to Central City 2018. The service for Martin was deeply touching, bringing Ray to tears. His sniffles calmed down as Zari put her hand on his back, giving him both physical and emotional support. Climbing back aboard the ship, the legends sat in a circle around the holo display on the bridge. Sara broke the silence. "That… was rough." The team nodded in agreement. Jax had his head down, crying into his arm.

"You need anything man?" Mick asked, showing some sympathy with the recent occurrences.

"To be alone." Jax replied. He got up and stormed off to his room.

No one had anything to say, everyone sat quietly trying to digest the fact that they had just watched Martin's plain pine coffin descend into the ground. They each put some dirt on the casket, first with the shovel upside down, then a few more with the shovel correctly. They all had a part in layng Martin down to rest. They all watched as Lily rocked back and forth on her feet, clutching her son Ronnie to her chest, repeating the sentiment they all thought: "That can't be dad. It's not dad in there. It's not real." It was all so surreal to all of the legends.

After half of an hour of silence, Jax re-emerged from his room holding a large dark bag over his shoulder. "I'm staying in Central City for a while. It's been wild guys." Sara stood up.

"Woah woah woah. You're leaving?" Jax nodded.

"I need to sort myself out after Gray died. I just feel so empty. I said I need to be alone, I meant alone alone. I need time for myself."

"I can't believe you." Ray said, standing up abruptly. His expression was twisted in anger, an emotion not displayed on his kind face often. "We all loved him man, do you see us running and hiding? No. We're going to keep fighting Mallus and keep on marching because that is what Stein would tell us to do."

"I said I need to be alone." Jax said again, bitterness emphasizing every syllable.

"And this team needs you. You can't just run. We need to be together at this time. Coward." Jax dropped his bag and took a step forward, his face matching the expression of Ray, anger all over it.

"What did you call me?"

"Coward. You're a G-D damn coward."

"Say that one more time and I'll mop the floor with your lanky a-" Sara jumped in the middle of the two of them, trying to keep a fight from happening.

"Hold on guys, we're all a little tense right now. Let's just talk this out."

"No." Ray continued on, ignoring the advice of his captain. "You'd run from me, like you're running from your problems. Jax shoved Sara to the floor and curled his hand into a fist. He gripped Ray by the collar, spinning him around to where no one was between them. He slammed his fist into the Ray's left temple, letting go of his shirt, Ray dropped to the ground, blood leaking from the side of his head. Jax landed a kick to Ray's downed head, slamming it against the tile floor. He geared up for another punt before being pinned to the wall by a large gust of wind. He looked up and saw Zari's face, an expression of anger and protectiveness plastered on it.

"You want out, then get the hell out. Leave Ray alone before you realize you have no powers and I have a totem." Zari let Jax go off of the wall, he grabbed his bag and in a huff left the Waverider.

Seeing that Jax had left, Zari rushed over to Ray, checking on his head. "My G-D, Ray!" he said, her voice cracking. "Are you ok?" Ray held his head where Jax's boot made contact. He moaned and nodded. "Here, let's get you up." Zari hooked her arm around Ray's chest and pulled him to his feet. ' _Damn, I never noticed how muscular his chest is.'_ Zari thought to herself as she supported Ray as the two of them walked towards the med bay.

Entering the doors to the med bay, Zari saw the chair where Martin died just the last day. She sighed in sorrow and laid Ray down in the adjacent chair. "Good Evening ms. Tomaz." Gideon's robotic voice chimed. "Would you like medical assistance for mr. Palmer." Zari shook her head.

"No thanks Gid, a couple bandages will do the trick. Can you scan for a concussion?"

"Of course." A blue light appeared in a triangle and scanned Ray's bleeding head. "It appears his head is fine, he is growing unconscious though. I wouldn't recommend him going into combat for a week." Zari nodded in understanding.

"I'll let him know when he wakes up." Zari got some cloth bandages from a cabinet and worked on Ray's sleeping body. She wrapped the gauze tightly around his head, careful to let him continue sleeping. Zari put the supplies away and looked back at Ray. She held his hand and kissed him on the forehead. "That was brave you dummy, don't pull a stunt like that again."

"No promises." Ray said, not opening his eyes. Shocked, Zari let go of Ray's hand and stood up. "You were awake, for how long?"

"Long enough to know you kissed me on the forehead and held my hand."

"You're an ass. You know that Ray?" Ray smiled weakly.

"An ass you care about."

"Shut up."

 _Hope you all liked it. Love you guys._


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